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Coping in a Commune


Imagine this; you have been banished to a commune deep in the English Countryside. There are 99 other members but you are a member of the Commune Council. You have power! You help decide Commune policy on energy, water, economics, employment, food, transport, education; in fact everything. You can’t leave for a few years but we do trade with the outside world.

Now there is that idiot on the Council; what’s-his-name – Cameron or something; he thinks he’s in charge. He wants to make everything private. He wants to pay someone to cut logs for the winter. I know we have to pay someone to cut logs for the winter, but does he need to have his own company? Does it have to cost an arm and a leg? I know we can keep on making tokens and pay people what we want to, but doesn’t that devalue the tokens? Won’t it lead to inflation or stagflation (whatever that means) even? I am in favour of making a few extra tokens to pay someone to work all weekend to cut logs and then store the logs over winter for when we are running out; we could sell them then and get the tokens back and no one gets cold! You weren’t here when it snowed, it got bloody cold!

Food is really important, we need to have a policy of producing enough. Someone wants us all to go vegan or vegetarian or something – I am not giving up my eggs and chicken. Then there is that  idiot that wants to have steak for dinner; who will kill the cow?

I like a sing-song on a Saturday night, but why are we paying the singers so much? What sort of name is  Gaga anyway and why are we giving her so many tokens? That kid Bieber, gets on my nerves – we should sack him. We could have a lottery on a Saturday night, one token a ticket. Win your own chicken coop or something?

I’m making black pudding tomorrow, I don’t care what the veggies think about people eating pig’s blood. Those sausages made out of dandelions tasted awful!

That will be the hot issue at the next Council meeting, alcohol! Should we make more beer or should it be wine or should we save the alcohol for fuel? We have a surplus, we must have; people are getting sozzled every night. We could make fuel a priority and tax the beer and tax the wine even more because it is higher alcohol? Make our own diesel out of sunflower oil? It takes a lot of bloody sunflowers…

I think we should pay the doctor more and do some work on the surgery. That bloody Gaga gets paid more than him; she gets paid more than me! Health should be a priority, it is important. I do a bit of teaching, how about education? We could make a few cuts to the saw mill budget and spend it on education? I could do with a pay raise. We need to spend more on transport too; I know, I drive the tractor!

We need more technology? Do we? We have a couple of computers, what more do you want? Smart phones? The latest thing? Why would I want to update my Facebook, do they tell you how to chop logs or grow more food? Get a video camera and make a movie, are you kidding? We could sell it to the Americans, they speak English – sort of…

Get Gaga to sing to them? That’s one way of getting rid of her. Can she sing in Chinese? Just a thought…

I think you’ll fit in on the Commune Committee, keep your mouth shut until you have a clue. Social networking? We have a social every Saturday; I told you, Bieber and Gaga sing, we must do something about them. We need a lottery or a chuck raffle.

What do I think about gay rights?  Err…

If you like a little amusement try Richmond – well off – but are they happy? or maybe Wealthy Brits – they want to move abroad.



3 responses

  1. Pingback: Coping in a Commune | Γονείς σε Δράση

  2. Mike, I am firmly convinced you need to run for office. Your ideas should be spread with the world.

    But in your commune, you could use smartphones to watch YouTube videos on subjects such as how to chop wood That’s your tech tip of the day!

    16, June 2011 at 4:31 pm

  3. Hi Carolyn,

    I thought the commune idea was a good way to get people to think about politics and it was funny. I need to know how to make fuel for the chain saw out of sunflower seed oil… lol

    16, June 2011 at 4:53 pm

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