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Psychology | NPD


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Miserable Monday

Lots of people refer to Monday as miserable because they have no choice but to go to work. They feel they have to work to live, but are unhappy in their work. The cause can be NPD; Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  They don’t suffer from it; their boss does! Narcissistic Personality disorder is named after Narcissus who looked into a pool of water, saw his own reflection and fell in love with himself.  We all know people with this personality disorder and unfortunately because they attract attention to themselves they often end up as the boss!

Going to work on Monday morning is bad enough if it’s dark and cold; but when you have to put up with a boss who shows no empathy towards other people, this can make Monday really miserable. People with NPD are preoccupied with their own prestige, power, looks and vanity. They will ignore criticism or even get very angry and aggressive when criticised. They will abuse their position of power and bully everyone that they feel are inferior to them. They tend to make an outward show of how well they are doing, smart clothes, smart ideas and  smart phone. They easily feel ashamed if they don’t have the latest car and react angrily to any criticism. Image is everything to someone with NPD and often they are all image and no actual substance. They may not actually know their job but will be convinced that they are expert at it and the company can’t function without them. They want the ‘best of everything’; instant coffee isn’t good enough. Without NPD, Starbucks would go out of business; so would many other luxury brands. People with NPD feel they deserve high salaries and the amount of work they do is irrelevant; they deserve what they get because of who they are; not what they do. 

Anxiety

These people once in a position of power can really make Mondays, or any day of the week for that matter, really miserable for others. They have no empathy and will put others down, then try to undermine their confidence and work at every opportunity. They want constant attention and praise from others but rarely give it out.  They have unrealistic goals for others and demand more and more from the staff while they themselves contribute less and less. In a  group situation this will lead to constant anxiety amongst the group. This anxiety often leads to problems of addiction, some members of staff will go out for a cigarette, some will drink alcohol at lunchtime and some may even take drugs to cope with the symptoms of stress. Others might find comfort in food, eating snacks at every opportunity and getting more ridiculed by their boss for being a little overweight. The boss will pick on anyone they deem to be different and hence inferior. Members of staff take more time off sick and tend to come in late and try to lead early. The whole atmosphere of the work place is stressed and even people from outside; the customers, may be affected. Tempers are frayed and everyone feels on edge or on the edge.

The most vulnerable are people with little else but their work, with a poor home life and perhaps some personal problems. The situation can be intolerable, but the only way to cope is to improve relationships outside of work. Support outside of work can  make work more tolerable, but in the long term it is better to look for alternative employment.

There are more amazing blogs on the Home Page. If today’s blog strikes a chord, then please comment. Do you know someone with NPD?

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4 responses

  1. My ex-boyfriend most probably has NPD or at least some really strong narcissistic traits (he was never diagnosed or anything, this is more what my doctors have said regarding the situation) Narcissists are impossible and I am glad I got away from it all, he was very manipulative and keep telling me that I was the crazy one to the point where I believed it. sometimes that really sucks, they make you look like the crazy one to the outside world and you feel like the crazy one.

    6, March 2012 at 12:57 pm

  2. Hi Colee,

    Yes, being in a relationship with someone who has NPD is even worse than having a boss with it. They are always right and everyone else is wrong. I hope things are better for you now, it can take a while to get over such an abusive relationship. The scars do heal, but the memories linger…

    6, March 2012 at 2:59 pm

  3. Great post Mike!

    I sadly have been exposed to the personality traits you write of. The sad, truth is that if you do not extract yourselves from these people in your life mental inlless can prevail. When they say that mental illnesses is a family & community illness there is more truth to thise than anyone intially wants to admit.

    6, March 2012 at 8:13 pm

    • Hi,

      That is very true! Anxiety is contagious and exposure more serious mental illness can cause anxiety and depression. It is hard living with someone with NPD or anything where the behaviour of others is so dominating and abusive.

      Thanks for visiting and the comment. The purpose of these psychology posts is to help people not only understand these disorders but to help them understand in some cases it’s not them that has the problem!

      6, March 2012 at 9:06 pm

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