Today’s picture is one I did to put to use as a header on my Facebook page. I don’t know why, every time I look at it it sends my eyes funny, still, it’s not the end of the world (that was the other day).
In the news this week, Hart in Hampshire has been named the UK’s most desirable place to live for quality of life for the second year running. It seems Surrey and places down south are nicer places to live than here in the Midlands. They earn more money, have a better environment, have nice posh homes and live longer. It seems money can buy happiness… Who knew?
Maggie Thatcher has been in hospital, a spokesman said ‘she’s fine’. To quote Mandy Rice-Davies, she would say that wouldn’t she? I’m surprised she went into hospital. Surely someone from her coven could have done something?
The Prince of Wales has called for a national health service with more compassion. He doesn’t understand does he? You can’t let emotion get in the way of making a quid. The national health service is there to buy drugs from drug companies. Then Conservative MP’s invest in the drug companies and make money. Got it?
The drug companies are about to go through difficult times as their patents on popular drugs run out. They won’t be able to hold the health service to ransom anymore as generic equivalents will be made in developing countries. They’ll think of something…
Tory tosser, Iain Duncan Smith, has new ideas for benefit claimants. In the New Year claimants can have their benefits stopped, if they refuse a job that is on some new website. It will be on the whim of some jobs-worth in the jobcentre, who will judge whether the job is suitable. The other idea is for a benefits card, to stop claimants spending their money on cigarettes, alcohol and Sky television. I could have quoted that wrong, it could have been, cigarettes and whisky and wild, wild women; which is a growing problem around where I live. Especially the wild, wild women. They have to do something when their benefits have been stopped by Atos…
I have this vision of a card that can only be used to pay your TV licence, but not Sky TV; pay your water bill, but not buy beer; pay your council tax, but not buy a lottery ticket; buy food, but not buy cigarettes. So, now you know, sell your shares in Sky, breweries, pub chains, cigarettes companies and gambling then buy Tesco and water shares. You heard it here first…
I have to do a bit of shopping later. I wonder if benefit claimants will be able to buy Christmas presents under this new scheme? They are a waste of money. If you’re looking for a job and need to access that website to look for vacancies. Is a computer or smart phone, an essential or a luxury? Does their smart phones go on the list with the cigarettes and whisky or on the list with water and food? Will they be refused grapes in case they make wine out of them?
That’s enough bad news, now for some good news. I can tell all benefit claimants that yeast turns sugar into alcohol and sugar is sold in Tesco and is found in many things, even potatoes. So no worries about the booze ban, is there? You won’t miss the cigarettes, but stock up on papers or you won’t be able to roll a joint. Don’t tell the Tories about the yeast…
You can also get my Christmas Story to read now, either on your computer or your eBook reader. It’s not 50 shades; there’s no sex, BDSM or profanity. I tried to write something different; but it seems nostalgic now, so maybe it’s been done before. I vaguely remember comedy from my younger days…
Please comment and tell me what you think of the story…
- Welfare cash cards and spying: the Tory approach to unemployment | Wail Qasim (guardian.co.uk)
- Iain Duncan Smith’s advisers warn of consequence of benefits crackdown (guardian.co.uk)
- Tory peer: Benefits system allows claimants to ‘have a lifestyle’ on the state (itv.com)
- Benefits curb on junkies and alkies (thesun.co.uk)
- MP: Ban claimants from buying booze (standard.co.uk)
- Breaking News: MP: Ban claimants from buying booze (crosbyherald.co.uk)
- UK News: MP: Ban claimants from buying booze (birminghampost.net)
- National News: MP: Ban claimants from buying booze (coventrytelegraph.net)
- UK & World News: MP: Ban claimants from buying booze (journallive.co.uk)
- UK News: MP: Ban claimants from buying booze (walesonline.co.uk)