Psychology | Out of Desperation

People will often behave out of character because they are desperate. Desperation can drive us to commit crime; even murder. Desperation is feeling we can no longer tolerate our situation. We not only want to change how we feel; we need to change how we are feeling. We need to stop the pain. It might be physical pain, but often it’s psychological pain.

Desperation can motivate us to do extraordinary things and become extraordinarily violent. It can motivate us to harm ourselves by smoking cigarettes or drinking too much alcohol. We are desperate to avoid the pain of withdrawal. Desperation drives addiction. People say they are dying for a cigarette or they are dying for a drink; they are really admitting their desperate need for relief from the way they are feeling.

Fear and anxiety make us desperate, it is a type of pain that we feel we can’t tolerate and get desperate to change the way we feel. We will use drugs, drink, sex, work; anything to change the way we feel. We’ll lie and cheat to change the way we are feeling. This can become a lifestyle, where lying and cheating fuel an addiction to drugs or alcohol. The same applies to gambling, that can be an addiction too as we escape our anxieties with the thrill of a gamble. People change the way they feel by doing all sorts of things. Some people feel better when they buy something new. We all like new things and trying on new clothes. Is it so hard to understand when someone who is severely depressed blows their money on new clothes?

We can get addicted to something that we are good at. If we are driven by desperation. It can be driving, cleaning the house, our work or rolling the perfect cigarette. In fact anything that gives us a sense of self worth. Feeling worthless is painful and can make us feel desperate to change.

There are other things that can make us desperate. We can become so desperate for food that we will steal. Food can easily become an addiction, an escape from the way we feel.  Food can give us a little pleasure, when we feel that our life is devoid of any pleasure or happiness.

In British society, more and more people seem to be feeling desperate for a variety of reasons. The state of the economy is making matters worse and society appears to becoming more selfish and greed driven. Greed itself seems to be driven by a desperate need for financial security or superiority.

What can you do when you feel desperate? Are you desperate to change, desperate to feel less anxious or depressed? You can try to become really good at something that won’t harm yourself or others. It might become an addiction driven by desperation, but if you become the tidiest person in the world or the world’s best car cleaner. Who will that harm? It might even make you a success at your job or in business. We all want to be a success.

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