Am I happy? Oh, yeah.

According to the ONS, we are now much happier, cheered up by the Olympics and the Jubilee last year. Married couples are happier than single people, apparently. I can imagine some graduate researcher knocking the door of an unmarried mother in the Black Country and asking if she’s happy, just after she’d applied the Anusol to her latest tattoo.

“Yeah, feckin’ delirious,” shouldn’t be taken as a serious reply to the question.

I was going to review an art exhibition on Friday. I said hello to my neighbour who really is named Mrs Jones; she was tidying up her front garden. Then my car wouldn’t start and I had to put the battery on charge. Yesterday, a guy knocked my door and asked if I wanted to sell it. I assume he thought it’s old enough to go for scrap now. It might be 16 years, but it still goes and gets me about. Then he asked if I wanted my front garden tidied up. Some people would feel insulted, but I don’t have to keep up with the Joneses do I?  I don’t need a new car on the drive or roses around the door. A new car would be nice I suppose, I am the only award winning writer around here. You would think I’d get one for free. I don’t care what the neighbours think really. I am a bit careful about what washing I peg on the line though. You can tell a lot about people by looking at their washing. People buy tumble dryers so they don’t have to peg their washing out on the line for all the neighbours to see. I’ve got nothing to hide, I don’t mind my neighbours seeing my boxer shorts blowing in the breeze.

I had a good week on the stock exchange and the government made a billion quid on it’s shares in RBS and Lloyds. One company I own shares in went up 50% on Friday. Who needs a new car on the drive?

I added a free advert to a zillion ideas this week too. If you’re interested in getting a free advert, email me. I shall probably leave them on for about 12 months. If you have a bigger business and want an advert then make me an offer. I am likely to swap advertising space for just about anything useful. A 300mm lens for my camera for example or a kilo of fresh chicken. A new car would be nice too… 

I hate traffic jams and even though the school runs have stopped for a while, we still have dodgy roads and traffic lights that don’t change until there’s a half a mile bloody tailback. The M6 and M5 cut through the Black Country and there isn’t really enough places to cross over them. You can avoid crossing at junction 9 by taking the road to Darlaston. You know the one, it’s got kerbs extending into the middle of the bloody road and bus stops sticking out in the road and winds along with lines of parked cars.

There was another accident on the Birmingham road the other day. Are we surprised? Drivers need to have a clear view in front of them and be able to keep a constant speed and concentrate. Just getting around the double roundabout at the end of the Birmingham road is a challenge to the concentration of many drivers.

I’m trying to remember where the Highgate Brewery used to be now. They say the memory is one of the last things to go. I forget what the other one was…

If you are a regular reader then you’ll know I chat to international students from China sometimes. I thought Casualty last night was hilarious when they got a new Chinese doctor. Culture clash!

It looks a bit stormy this morning. I was going to go exploring and taking photos this afternoon. I might have to go shopping instead. I hope I can get across the M6 without getting caught in a traffic jam at Junction 9. The traffic was backed up at Junction 10 yesterday. They’re going to make that a ‘hamburger junction’, soon. That will make us all happy. A drive through a hamburger junction every morning as you approach the Black Country route will be better than a morning ‘happy meal’. They couldn’t organise a picnic in a brewery could they…

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