Jezza Clarkson suspended #Sunday #ramble

Yes, this week Jezza Clarkson of Top Gear fame was suspended for slapping a producer. We all know he was just messin’ around and joking. He once said Wednesbury was the worst place on earth. He was joking, he loves Wednesbury!

Anyway, we are hoping the BBC will sack him, because we got him a job in Wednesbury as the chauffeur in the reasonably priced motor! He’ll love it, we’ve had a sat nav fitted to the Vectra and everything. The Rover 75 is being cleaned and polished by Romanian specialists down the back of the park and Ranjit has put an advert on the chip shop window advertising the new service. He will have to mend his ways a bit though. He will have to try to blend into the diverse culture of Wednesbury like a chameleon.   We could send him to Caldmore Chameleon for some transcendental medication, that would calm him down a bit… He’ll more or less be his own boss in that Vectra doing what he likes in between school runs. There will be plenty to do in the evenings as well, taking the wonderful local people to the many establishments specializing in great entertainment and exotic dining. He will have to be a bit careful because of the injunction against boy racers meeting up, so he will have to warn May and Hammond to stay away. He would have to tell his mate dopey Dave to stay away too. Dopey will probably be made redundant in May, but we can’t find him a job too…

I wouldn’t mind Jezza’s; job writing a weekly column for the Sunday Times. I would probably do a better job of it. I can’t do the Sun though, I’ve never been much good at writing crap or sucking up to the government. They just jump on any old bandwagon that attacks their dopey readers. It amazes me how they can publicize the crap Benefits Britain programmes on Channel Four and the people they are demonizing go out and buy the bloody paper!

I would be an asset to any newspaper or magazine. I not only write, but I take photographs too! I am getting some stuff published in my local paper now and this blog post will be syndicated by the YamYam. Clarkson went to a private school, I only went to a grammar school but the principle’s the same. We can both be arrogant prats when we need to be. This is what good education teaches, it’s not about learning the subjects, it’s about a sense of superiority that makes you right, even when others say you’re wrong. Look at Nigger Farage, he can take a joke… You have to learn to laugh at yourself and everyone else too. I admit dopey Dave doesn’t have much of a sense of humour, but he did go to Eton, that must count for something. Oxford and Cambridge turn out people who can do no wrong too and so dopey Dave and his sidekick Cleggy think they are invincible when it comes to having a bit of a laugh. They were just joking when they said they would cut immigration for example. Let’s face it we couldn’t, we needed more doctors, nurses and curry chefs; it’s far too expensive to train our own…

We need to lighten up, it was that Comic Relief thing this week and it’s getting harder to separate comedy from politics. The politics is a joke and the comedy sounds too serious… The MP’s all need to wear red noses to complete their image.

That’s it for this week. I might go out this afternoon, even though the weather doesn’t look very promising. If you live local, in wonderful Wednesbury, you might see me around. Say hello and I might take your photo. You can have a photo took with Jezza when he takes up his new job as chauffer in a reasonably priced motor…

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