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Posts tagged “Humour

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1 West Bromwich Manor House

Here in the Black Country we have traditions and one of those traditions is to take no notice of strange behaviour. We’re all a bit weird. There are many races and many cultures and the politically correct people call it a multi-cultural community. There has always been a diversity. (more…)


From writing to voodoo

It’s Sunday morning and so this is the day when I write about whatever is on my mind. Today is writing and photography. Writing is about expressing yourself and I try to do that with photography and with the editing in particular. I read a lot and some of the articles I read are boring, which is a crime for a writer.

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Remember when the British invaded America?

MAY

I watched a few programmes on TV last night about the British rock bands that invaded America in the 1960’s and since. The onslaught was led by the Beatles and then the ‘ugly’ band; the Rolling Stones. That was a great export and Sweden took on the world with Abba too. America used Hollywood to take on the world with movies. Now the Chinese have taken on the world with consumer goods, maybe we need a new cultural revolution in both Britain and America.

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Are we all brainwashed or just weird?

The Red House

The kids in the UK got their exam results this week. They take their General Certificate of Secondary Education exams at 16 years old, in June and then get the results in August, two months later. They actually have to apply for jobs or university before they get the results, which might seem bloody stupid; but it must make sense to someone. Anyway, they have finished phase one of the brainwashing; now for the serious stuff.

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Thrifty Thursday | Shopping local

This weeks super-six at Aldi are kiwis (6), peaches (4/5), Galia melon, Romaine lettuce (2), tomatoes (6) and new potatoes (750g). They are all 69p each. The peaches from Aldi are delicious. I had 400g of grapes last week, that’s a smaller pack, but cheaper! Lots of packs are getting smaller these days…

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Who has all the money?

I have money in my wallet and money in the bank. We all think that we know what money is and how to use it to buy goods and services, but do we really understand the world financial system. It does seem to have become very complicated. Governments around the world are complaining that they are not only broke, but trillions in debt. What’s going on? (more…)


beef burgers and snow

edited snow picture

This week we have seen Blockbusters in the news as the latest retailer to go into administration, following other famous names like HMV, Jessops and Comet. Then there was Tesco with it 30% horse-meat ‘beef’ burgers. Then there was the snow…

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How to write a novel | grammatical tense

Junction 10 M6 Motorway

If you’re following my blogs about writing a novel, you will know that the story I’m writing is about Nick and Lily. Nick’s parents were killed in a car accident while on holiday in America. He took to the road in a campervan and met Lily, a brash American. They are opposites but attracted to one another and so have a love-hate relationship.

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Another week closer to Christmas

The Milky Pool in May

I took this photo in May, doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun? At the time of writing I can see blue sky and sunshine, we didn’t see much of that through the summer and now Autumn is flying by. It will soon be Christmas and we have to prepare, save up for some stamps to post our Christmas cards!

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How to write a novel | Colloquialisms

English Countryside

For weeks now I’ve been developing my story about Nick, who has lost his parents in a car accident in California. He decided to sell up and go on a road trip around the English Countryside. I’m getting a little inspiration from the photographs that I took on Sunday. This is as close to the English Countryside that I get!

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Yet another Sunday ramble

Wednesbury 015

Regular readers know that on a Sunday, I write about anything I feel like writing about and tend to just ramble on. This week the government has announced it will lend money to banks, so they can lend it to us. The interest rate the government is charging is less than 1%. It’s working, I had a letter from Barclay’s offering me a balance transfer for a fee of 2.9%. That’s a nice little earner; nice to see the greed culture at Barclay’s hasn’t left the building, along with Banker Bob. (more…)


How to write blogs

JUNCTION NINE

For the benefit of local readers, yes the picture is junction 9 of the M6 motorway. It was taken when there was a break in the rain! The traffic light were on red as usual. It is important when I write a blog to start it with something interesting, try to tease the reader to click the link to read the rest of the page. Are you teased enough yet? Maybe, I should mention sex? I mentioned testosterone in my blog on a Zillion Ideas today. That’s a sex hormone! That blog is about how our emotions affect our hormones and vice versa. (more…)


The Black Country Season

Tipton 058

The London Season

It’s all go in London, after the excitement of the Queen’s official birthday. People turned out to watch the trooping of the colour and waved their flags and took up the customary grovelling positions. Some of them were hoping that, if they sucked up enough, they would get a gong in the birthday honours list. We have a season here in the Black Country. Last night the London set, went to the Hampton Court Palace Festival to partake in champagne and canapés, be entertained by the likes of Jools Holland and end the evening with a really, really expensive firework display.  Up Tipton there was bingo and karaoke. The Tipton set celebrated with Banks mild  and prawn cocktail crisps. Entertainment was by an Elvis lookalike from Prince’s End. (more…)


Don’t time fly when you’re having fun?

DSCF8598

Happy birthday to me…

Yes, it’s my birthday yet again. My mate Richard; in Sydney, Australia posted a picture of a teddy bear and a birthday cake on Facebook earlier (my birthday started early in Oz). That took me back to when I was a kid, playing  doctors and nurses with teddy and the girl down the road; she was the doctor. I’ll never forget what she did to teddy with that three feet of plastic tubing; no wonder his eye fell out.  (more…)


Black Country humour

Walsall 077

My mate has just come out of the hospital; he had both legs amputated. I popped round to help him out; just until he gets back on his feet.  I said, “Bill, I’m goin’ to the supermarket, do you need anything?”

He said, ” Ar,  bring me a couple of chicken legs.”

I said, “C’mon Bill, you’re clutchin’ at straws now…”

Smile with tongue out

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Cliché

These were the top ten clichés used by members of LinkedIn on their profiles:

  • Extensive experience
  • Innovative
  • Motivated
  • Results-oriented
  • Dynamic
  • Proven track record
  • Team player
  • Fast-paced
  • Problem solver
  • Entrepreneurial

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The Secrets of Success

Success means following many small steps. One step at a time.

The secrets of success

“Be a dreamer; for a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight and then see the dawn before the rest of the world.”- Oscar Wilde

I would like to thank Robin and Judy for bringing that quote to my attention. They started following me on Twitter today; I have no idea who they are; but they must be smart! :) (more…)


Social Media – career enhancement

Neodigital Art - It shows creativity and possibly a respect for nature

Horoscope Aquarius

Sunday 10 April

Look towards your health and well-being. The Moon in your wellness zone is encouraging you to slow down, not so easy for someone who is currently whizzing around at a million MPH. So think about nurture and nourishment. You need the kind of foods that feed your nervous system, brain food, if you like. Eat well like this and you’ll feel so much better.

That’s my horoscope for today. I need some brain food; I have chicken for dinner that is loaded with tryptophan and I’ll have lots of veggies too. My health is the most important thing to me but we have to think about other things and make life interesting. Man cannot live by chicken and veggies alone! (more…)


The Year of the Ox!

About 8% of the world's population was born in a year of the Ox

The Year of the Ox

1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009

People born in the Year of the Ox are patient, speak little, and inspire confidence in others. They tend, however, to be eccentric; but make very good friends. They are suited to all kinds of pursuits from the technical to the creative. They are easy going but quite stubborn. They speak little but when they do speak they are eloquent and speak after giving the subject a lot of thought. The Ox may be stubborn but can always be relied on to carry a heavy burden. (more…)


Close Encounters!

Neodigital Art - Do you see this when you look at a cloud?

Horoscope Aquarius

Monday 04 April

Words can be your currency this week, and if they are used in a measured, thoughtful way, your communication can make a major impact. However, equally others can feel passionate about their views and someone may spring something on you that will come as a major surprise, like hearing from an old flame, perhaps by email or text message. (more…)


Spooky!

Neodigital Art - this was taken at a nature reserve a week ago - a hidden treasure

Spooky!

Horoscope Aquarius

Sunday 03 April

Keep a pen and notepad handy, and a camera and your mobile. Today is all about thinking and having the most brilliant ideas you have ever had. Make sure you write them down, photograph them, talk them into a recording device and keep them to hand. Your mind is really operating at the very top of its gearing, and this can see you quick-witted too.

Isn’t that spooky! I had just finished writing some notes in a notepad and I checked my email and got this horoscope. I am planning to go out this afternoon to take photographs for my Neodigital Art blogs and so I checked my mobile (cell phone) was fully charged. Actually it rang, it was still on GMT and the alarm went off; that is my emergency alarm in case I sleep through the clock. It went off a hour late because I hadn’t altered it to dreamless time. I feel constantly tired since altering the clocks an hour; I wish the dreamless ones would leave them alone. You cannot save daylight! I say it every year, twice a year; it makes no difference. (more…)


My Exhibition

I wanted to have my exhibition here - it was handy for the supermarket

Victorian Art Gallery

If you have been following my Neodigital Art blogs, you will know that it is an art form based on photography and the finished images can be printed out for an exhibition or they can be uploaded to a server to be viewed online. When I thought about an exhibition, I thought about my local art gallery. It’s a traditional Victorian building and has the grandeur that the Victorians were so fond of creating. (more…)


The Dreamless Ones

It's not that time really - we are now on dreamless time...

The Dreamless Ones

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas I’ll never know: Groucho Marx. :)

Which do you think is the predator and which the prey, the man or the elephant with its great strength and huge brain. (more…)


Daylight Robbery!

It’s Daylight Robbery!

It's Daylight Robbery! They had to brick up their windows!

Tuesday, 08 March 2011

It’s Daylight Robbery!

You have heard the term ‘it’s daylight robbery’ but where does it come from? I will explain! You may remember the dreamless ones are stupid because they are genetically descended from Neanderthals and they keep altering the clocks trying to save ‘daylight’. Anyway, way back in 1696 the King of England introduced a window tax. This was a very fair tax. (more…)


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